Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
where are my eyebrows?
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