my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
you made out with another girl for some wings
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
