I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
