Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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