That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize