gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
