My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
