therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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