if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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