i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
