I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
