He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
