Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
