I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
