I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
