areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
