Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
