Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
