very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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