he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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