Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Screwed.edu
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
