Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
it glows. i had to have it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
