Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
