there's paper in my vomit.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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