I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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