people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
