When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
