Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
