I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize