I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
