you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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