Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
bring money and cleavage
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
