Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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