Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We named our party play list daddy issues
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
