We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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