she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
