Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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