We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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