Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
