The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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