I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
