Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
