also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
