I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
