I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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