You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
