I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
