We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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