my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
