Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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